I started my first company in a state of innocence, inexperience, and naivete. I had no idea what it would take. I had no idea what I didn’t know and I had no idea what to expect.
This time around I know all those things. I know what to expect. I know what I don’t know. And I know what it’ll take. I know how gut-wrenchingly difficult it is. I know the price, the pain, and the sacrifice.
Most rational, sane people would not go down this path once, let alone twice. Yet here I am, going down this path…again. Why am I doing this?
I’ve come to the realization that it’s because i’m different. I have a condition: i’m delusional. My sense of reality is distorted and i’m border-line insane.
For better or worse, my mind is programmed to ignore the chaos all around me — the risk, the cost, the pain, the disappointment, the heartbreak. My mind simply just blocks it out. I’m living in a fantasy world. A world where I always seem to get what I want and where I always win.
In the past couple weeks, i’ve had a few conversations with non-startup friends asking about startup life. Sometimes they remind me of what’s at stake and all the things that can go wrong. They remind me how crazy I am, in the nicest possible way.
When things go wrong, sometimes big and sometimes small, I see glimpses of that reality. I see the world as they see. The risk. The recklessness. The obsession. The possibilities of failure. The collapsing walls around me. The reality.
And I panic. I wig out. I question myself, my vision, my everything. It’s a terrifying feeling. It’s a nightmare.
Then I wake up the next morning…
And somehow, someway… it’s all gone.
I’m back to my fantasy world. Back to my dream where everything is going to plan. The woes of yesterday are history. I will make this work — brute force if necessary.
Most entrepreneurs are a little bit delusional. We live in our own little world and see things in our own way. It’s a fascinating condition. As sure as the sun comes up, we’re recharged and refreshed. We’re ready to take on today’s Goliath, again and again and again. We ignore the battle scars, no matter how deep they may run. We’re relentless in our pursuit.
It’s one of the many miracles of entrepreneurship. We always bounce back. We continue marching on. We’re limitless.
I love this game. Ooh rah.